Building successful

relations with parents

by class discussion (R)

Relations with parents is one of the most important things in the life of teenager. But many have a lot of problems with this.

Parents should try to get knowledge about peculiarities of teen age, read special literature or even consult with psychologists if they can not solve problems themselves.
But although parents are responsible for building relations too, the purpose of this article is trying to think what teenagers can do to improve relations.

You feel that you have grown up and naturally, you want more freedom and your opinion to be taken into consideration. Parents do not always realize it because only yesterday you were obedient child. You should help them to understand this and make the first step.
Show them that you are already grown by your adult behaviour.
Rebellions and scandals will not bring any good to both sides.
Try to build understanding step by step. Express your opinion clearly and explain why it is important for you to have your opinion. It will not happen at once that your parents will understand you, try to establish contact again and again, without conflicts and you will succeed finally. When parents see that you are able to express your opinion and justify it by arguments, they will see that you have grown and can be treated like adult.

Be responsible in your actions. Freedom is not only doing what you want to, without taking others interests into consideration. Remember the saying that freedom of one ends where the freedom of other starts.
And freedom also means responsibility. If your freedom finds its way only in breaking rules, wearing crazy clothes or haircut, nobody will treat you like adult.

Thrust is a very important thing. Show your parents that you trust them, tell them about what is happening to you at school or street. Ask their advices in difficult situations or ask them what they would do in this or that case.
Ask your parents to tell you about their teenager years, what problems stood on their way. It can be very helpful for understanding if parents will remember their young years.
Try to give more time for communication with your parents, discuss different issues with them.

Ask your parents about their problems and difficulties, show them that you are concerned. Offer your help if needed.

Try to understand that parents spend most of their time at work and come home tired. But when they return they have to work at home too.

That is why take more house work responsibilities on you, because you have become older. It is not difficult to go shopping, clean in the house or your room, cook dinner. If parents have less work to do in the house, they will have more rest and more time to devote to you.

Negotiate time of coming home. It might be not easy but try to do it step by step.
Always tell your parents where you go, that will make them worry less. Always come home in time you have agreed on with your parents. When they see that you are responsible about time, they will let you come later in the future.
Be aware of the criminal situation, worries of parents are usually not too exaggerated but based on real facts from the mass media and experience.

If possible, invite your friends to home sometimes and introduce them to your parents. If your parents do not like some of your friends, talk to them about it. Ask what makes parents feel so suspicious and explain why this or that person important for you as a friend.
In any case, you will have less conflicts if your parents know with whom you spend your time and how you spend it.

Talk about teen fashion with your parents; explain tendencies that are popular in your environment.

Be aware of family budget. Try to count all family expenses yourself, everything: different house services payments, food, clothes, road fare, money parents have to give you for school demands, pocket money to children. It will help you to understand better why parents are not able always to buy you what you need. Also, think if you really need this or that thing to have or it is only to be like others.

Be responsible with your school and study. Do not make parents invited to school about your bad progress or discipline.

If the conflict is taking place, do not give way to your emotions. If possible, try to distance from parents for a while, like going to other room or going out. It will help for emotions to come down.
Do not blame. Do not use phrases like "you always…", "you never…". Speak about definite situation you are having conflict about and do not involve past situations here.
Avoid using pronoun "you", better use "I" to express what you are feeling and experiencing, even if the other side blames you. Never shout even if parents start shouting.
This way you can show good example of making constructive conflicts.
Offer your solutions of the situations and listen to the other side. Offer compromises possible for both sides.

In conclusion we want to tell that we are part of parents and they are part of us. They love us even if they do not always tell about this. Parents are out friends and they will not betray us in any life situation. All their worries and concerns are dictated by their care about us. Even if they are not always right, their actions are directed to do better for us.